Installing Husband 1.0
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Cute!
INSTALLING A HUSBAND
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
· Romance 9.5 and
· Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesira ble programs such as
· NBA 5.0,
· NFL 3.0 and
· Golf Clubs 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
· Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate.
DEAR DESPERATE,
First, keep in mind,
· Boyfriend 5. 0 is an Entertainment Package, while
· Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
Please enter co mmand: ithoughtyoulovedme.html, try to download Tears 6.2, and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
· If those applications work as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.
· Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.
Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)
In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0-program. This is an unsupported application and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited mem ory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend
· Cooking 3.0 and
· Hot Lingerie 7.7.
Good Luck!
Tech Support
Duccio Del Duca
Wonderbra
6 Comments
Post a CommentI have tears on my face from laughing!
How do men go from being self sufficient adults who live on their own, who cook, clean and launder for themselves, into people who act like they can't figure out a hanger? The first time I left for business for several days after we got married he actually made himself sick. We had been married for about three or so months so not a long time for this change to occur. He called to say our good-nights and said he didn't feel good. I asked what he had for dinner. He said the sausage from the fridge mixed with refried beans. First off, yuck. Second off it was MAPLE sausage that was over a week old!! I said, "didn't it taste bad?" He said it did. BUT HE ATE THE WHOLE THING!! Sheesh.
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"People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they are not on your road doesn't mean they've gotten lost"- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
wonderful...
When I "cooked" it was open can, dump in frying pan, mix/stir with your fork, until hot enough to eat,walk over to the kitchen sink, and eat out off the pan over the sink, when finished wash pan and fork, put them both on the side until needed again. Take out, and sandwiches were for more casual dining, when I was not in the mood to cook, or clean up the "mess" afterwards.
As to cleaning, women want to clean things all the time. Men tend to clean when the smell bothers you when you open the door, after coming home from work. Now, depending on how hot it is outside determines the urgency of the cleaning. You generally clean areas that need it, not everything. Men are from the swamp, women from some sterile environment, men have little interest if finding that place let alone visit.
Laundry gets done when you are out of everything clean. As to hangers, what belongs on a hanger comes from the cleaners attached to hangers, all we need to know is how to remove items from said hanger.
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